We Were Merely Freshmen
by WevyrDove
Summary: Dean and Castiel are off to different colleges after high school graduation. When they meet up back home during winter break, Castiel has an important question for Dean. (Destiel college AU) Sequel to "You Belong With Me"
1. Chapter 1: Memory

...when I was young I knew everything...

Castiel was lying awake in his bed, trying to ignore his roommate and his roommate's girlfriend. Sarah slept over regularly, and although they waited until Castiel fell asleep, he couldn't help hearing them having sex late at night every now and then. Brandon was groaning at regular intervals now, so Castiel knew he was close. He wish he had a pair of noise canceling headphones.

Finally, they were done. Castiel noted that he was semi-erect. He hadn't been with anyone except Dean, and that was months ago.

Dean, he thought. So it had been a freak occurrence on prom night. There had been plenty of alcohol involved, and Castiel was sure that Dean considered himself to be straight. Castiel wasn't sure about his own orientation. After all, he hadn't really been interested until he met Dean.

Castiel couldn't help thinking about that night every time Dean crept into his thoughts. He often recalled it when he was jerking off. And then inevitably, he would think about the day after, even though it was a difficult memory.

...

The morning after prom had been painfully awkward. After reading Dean's note, Castiel had gotten dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen. Dean's mom had greeted him and offered him breakfast. He ate his bacon and eggs quickly, thanked her and then excused himself. On his way out, wearing his rumpled t-shirt and suit pants, he bumped into Dean coming home from returning the tux. Dean was looking carelessly handsome in worn out jeans and a RSHS shirt. He had a blue baseball cap pulled down low on his head.

"Oh, hey man," Dean said, giving Castiel a small smile.

"Hi Dean," Castiel blushed. He tried to catch Dean's eye but Dean wouldn't look directly at him.

"Thanks for the ride home, last night." Dean said. He was rubbing the back of his head and looking anywhere but at Castiel's face.

"Yeah, it was no problem. Thanks for letting me crash here." Castiel was confused and hurt. He wished Dean would look at him.

"Yeah. No biggie. See you around." Dean pushed past Castiel into his house.

Castiel called after him, "Bye Dean."

But the door was already closed.

-

The weeks to graduation flew by, and Dean and Castiel didn't have anymore window chats. Castiel felt heartbroken, but he soldiered on. At least he had his memories of that night. He revisited them much too often, and moped around. When he saw Dean around school or the neighborhood, Dean would always say hello, but beyond that, they didn't speak. Dean always seemed to be in a hurry and wouldn't look directly at Castiel. It was torture. Castiel couldn't wait until it was time to leave for college at the end of the summer.

Then graduation was upon them. Castiel watched Dean cross the stage and receive his diploma. There was a great roar of applause for him, even though the teachers and staff had asked for quiet during the ceremony. Castiel turned his folder containing his diploma over and over in his hands, wondering if he'd ever talk to Dean again.

Later, there was going to be a big party at one of the senior's houses. Even Castiel had been invited. That is, if being invited meant sitting in the cafeteria when the guy had shouted that everyone was invited to his graduation party. It didn't matter, since Castiel wasn't going.

He found his parents after the end of the ceremony. They took pictures of him and his friends, posing in their gowns and holding their diplomas. His mom noticed Dean nearby and congratulated him.

"Thanks, Mrs. Novak." Dean said. He was about to move on, but Castiel's mom put a hand on his arm.

"Dean, would you like to take a picture with Castiel?"

Dean paused awkwardly. He couldn't think of an excuse so he agreed. Castiel felt mortified.

"Ok, stand together, boys!" Mrs. Novak told them. Dean nodded to Castiel and they stood, with a full foot of space between them.

"Closer, Castiel!" His mom urged, and Castiel took a step closer to Dean, making sure they weren't touching. Dean seemed so stiff, his body all tense beside Castiel's.

"Cheese!" Mrs. Novak said, and snapped the picture. "Thanks Dean!"

Dean mentioned having to meet up with his parents, and hurried away. Castiel watched his retreating back. His mom put an arm around him and gave him a squeeze.

"We're so proud of you, honey! Now where's your father? We're going out to celebrate our graduate tonight! Do you have any friends you'd like to invite?" Mrs. Novak beamed at Castiel.

"No." Castiel answered, still watching Dean from afar.

...

Castiel had brought the graduation picture to college with him. They both wore forced smiles on their faces, dark blue graduation gowns and hats, clutching their diplomas. Even with the fake smile adhered to his features, Dean was handsome. The edges of the photo were worn from handling. Castiel couldn't bring himself to tack it on his wall though. He didn't want anyone asking him who Dean was.

Castiel heard Brandon's snores and Sarah's deep breathing. They had fallen asleep. Castiel glanced at his bedside clock. 3:03AM. He turned toward the wall and tried to get back to sleep. He had an 8 AM chemistry lecture later that morning.


	2. Chapter 2: Halloween

...for the life of me, i cannot remember...  
>...what made us think that we were wise, and we never compromised...<p>

Castiel sat in the library, observing his reflection in the window. It was getting dark early now in late October.

He was trying to read his chemistry text but he was too distracted. The weekend before Halloween was coming. There were a bunch of parties on campus. Unlike during high school, Castiel had already attended a couple, although he didn't really enjoy them. They were always in frat houses, with too many people crammed into the basements while house music blared. The lighting was always dim and there was always plenty of terrible beer to drink in plastic red cups. The first time he saw those he felt like he would cry. They were just like the ones he and Dean were using on prom night.

Then there was that time he got trashed, an experience he had no desire to repeat.

...

The night he got stupid drunk, Castiel had seen a frat guy that looked like Dean, with a similar build and similar hair. The reminder made him heartsick, and he chugged a bunch of cups at once. He stumbled out of the frat house, almost tripping down the front steps. Brandon was at the same party and noticed Castiel falling out the door. He quickly followed him.

"Cas! You are so wasted!" Brandon exclaimed when he caught up to him, surprised that his quiet roommate was drunk.

"Hey Brandon! I thought I saw Dean, only it wasn't Dean..." Castiel slurred. Brandon grabbed Castiel's arm so he wouldn't fall.

Brandon wondered who Dean was but didn't ask. Instead he said,  
>"Cas. I better take you home."<p>

"Sure, sure. But I'm fine!" Castiel flapped one hand at Brandon. He staggered back a step.

"Anything you say, buddy. I'm just keeping you company. I forgot something back in the room. Just let me text Sarah to let her know." Brandon pulled out his phone and quickly pecked out his message. He slung an arm around Castiel's back to support him.

Brandon helped Castiel stumble home, and unlocked the dorm and their room door. Castiel flopped on the bed. Brandon grabbed a water bottle from the mini fridge and opened it. He handed it to Castiel.

"Make sure you drink tons of water." He told him. Castiel sat up and took a few gulps. He wobbled a little bit.

"Thanks Brandon. You're awesome." Castiel bobbed his head.

"Well, if you're all set, I'm gonna head back. Sarah's waiting for me." Brandon opened the door.

"Oh! Ugh...my stomach feels horrible..." Castiel exclaimed. He got up and staggered past Brandon. He pushed the bathroom door open and ran into the stall. He vomited.

Brandon came into the bathroom. "Thanks for not doing it in our room." He said wryly. "I better let Sarah know I'm going to have to stay."

Castiel wiped his mouth on his sleeve. He waved at Brandon weakly.

"I'm ok, go back to the party."

Brandon looked at Castiel with concern but then shrugged and left. Once the door was closed, Castiel vomited again. He stumbled to the sink and rinsed his mouth, using his hands to scoop water from the faucet. He stared at himself in the mirror. His glasses were askew, and his hair was a mess. His face was pale and sweaty.

Castiel made it back to the room and collapsed on the bed. The next morning was ugly. He had a massive hangover; his mouth tasted like shit and his head was pounding. He felt achy all over. Never again, he vowed. He didn't understand how so many students willingly got trashed every weekend.

...

Castiel didn't go to anymore parties after that night. He preferred to sit in his room and binge watch Netflix. But now Halloween was coming, and he thought a costume party would be fun. He wouldn't be drinking, of course, but he loved to cosplay. He had an awesome Legolas outfit, complete with pointed ears and a blond wig. "The Hobbit" movies had just come out recently, so people would actually recognize his costume. He was bothered by the canon divergence in the movies, but on the other hand, he was grateful there were more movies set in Middle Earth.

Brandon and Sarah were also going to the same party. Castiel was glad he had a roommate he got along with and liked. Castiel considered both of them to be friends. It was hard not to bond with someone after they had seen you drunk and puking. His friends were dressing in matching costumes: Brandon was going as Rick and Sarah was going as a femme Daryl. They were huge "Walking Dead" fans. Both of them had friends at the art house and invited Castiel to join them at the Halloween party there.

The evening was freezing, as most nights were around Halloween in New England. Castiel was glad that his costume included a warm cloak. He had left his bow and quiver props back at the dorm. He figured they would be a pain to keep track of at the party, and he didn't want to lose them after spending all the time making them. Sarah shivered in her sleeveless vest and Brandon tossed the poncho at her.

"Told you should have brought it, Daryl!" Brandon teased.

Sarah laughed as she pulled the poncho over her head. "It'll be hot inside, and guess who's going to have to carry it, Rick?"

Brandon squeezed Sarah to his side and they both giggled. Castiel smiled, even though his heart ached. He wished he had that easy kind of relationship. With Dean, he thought. Although there were only a few couples in high school that were openly gay, in college it was more commonplace and not as big a deal.

Castiel wished Dean was here. He wondered if Dean was dressing up for Halloween. He was sure Dean was just as popular in college as he was in high school. He must be getting laid a ton, Castiel thought. A wave of jealousy washed over him, even though it was baseless. He had started typing an email to Dean awhile ago, but chickened out before he could press send. He had still heard nothing from Dean since graduation.

As they walked toward the party, they passed by Frat Row. There were a few people lounging about and walking from house to house, but it was still early. Castiel saw lots of skimpy costumes on the girls clicking by on heels, while the guys were mostly dressed in t-shirts that were printed with the likeness of a costume. The art house was on the next block, set a little bit away from the frats.

The party was still quiet when they arrived, but it was only 9:30. Brandon and Sarah disappeared to get drinks in the kitchen. Castiel looked around. There were a few groups chatting, and most people were in costume. Someone tapped Castiel on the shoulder.

"Legolas! Mae g'ovannen!" A red haired girl dressed as Tauriel grinned at him.

"Hello," Castiel said awkwardly. He looked at her costume an admired the details. It appeared to be screen accurate. "Nice costume."

"Thanks! Not bad yourself." She pinched the fabric of her tunic and rolled her eyes, "I know, Tauriel isn't even canon, but there's a terrible lack of female characters in Middle Earth."

Castiel nodded uncertainly. The girl smiled broadly at Castiel. "I'm Charlie, by the way."

"I'm Castiel," he replied. He was happy to find a fellow fan, but he felt shy.

Charlie grabbed Castiel's arm. She spoke conspiratorially and pointed at a raven haired girl with bright red lipstick and pale makeup. She was wearing a long black dress that dipped low to her stomach, showcasing her breasts and her belly button. Her outfit was completed with a pair of twisted horns. "That's the hottest Maleficent I've ever seen."

Castiel was a bit surprised but nodded. Charlie was still holding on to his arm and Castiel found himself being guided into the kitchen. Charlie opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of white wine. She grabbed a couple of plastic cups and poured. She handed one to Castiel.

"Almien, mellon!" Charlie touched her cup to Castiel's. Castiel took a sip of wine. It was a was cheap Chardonnay, but at least cold and infinitely better tasting than a warm frat beer.

"Le hannon," Castiel replied seriously.

"You're too awesome. I love meeting fellow geeks!" Charlie said happily. "Are you a freshman?"

Castiel nodded.

"I'm a junior. Computer science. Stereotypical geek, right?" Charlie laughed. "How about you?"

"I haven't decided yet. Probably chemistry."

"Pretty geeky." Charlie approved.

Charlie looked over Castiel's head. "Check out Daryl! But looks like she's taken by Rick already." She said with amused disappointment. "I totally ship that." She laughed.

Castiel turned and saw Brandon and Lisa coming into the kitchen. They waved.

"Yeah. That's my roommate and girlfriend." Castiel introduced everyone. The party was starting to get crowded. The music was getting louder, a pounding bass being the main component. It was getting hard to have a conversation without shouting. Castiel had trouble taking a step without bumping into someone.

Brandon and Sarah saw some of their friends nearby, and excused themselves. Sarah told Castiel to find them later if he wanted to walk home together. Castiel nodded gratefully. He and Charlie finished their wine and then she dragged Castiel back to the living room. There was a set of stairs going down to the basement and Charlie motioned to Castiel to follow.

Downstairs was even darker, with Christmas lights flickering around the edges of the ceiling. The sound of the music was quieter here and it was less crowded and cooler. There was also the smell of pot and smoke drifting around. Beat up couches and beanbags has been pushed to the sides of the room. Charlie plopped into a couch. Castiel followed.

"Less claustrophobic down here. I kinda hate crowds." Charlie commented.

"Me too." Castiel agreed. Now that he was getting used to Charlie's exuberance and overly familiar manner, he decided he liked her. After all, she seemed to be as big a Tolkien fan as he was.

Charlie suddenly bumped Castiel's shoulder. "Look!" she said excitedly, "Maleficent is down here too! I'm going to go for it!" She winked at Castiel and headed over to chat up the dark fairy.

"Good luck, Charlie," Castiel offered. He watched her intoduce herself and put an arm on Maleficent's shoulder. Then she was sitting on the couch with her, and they were talking animatedly. Castiel smiled; he wished he was able to make friends so easily.

Castiel felt a buzz in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and noted the time. 11:11PM. There was a text message was from a number he didn't recognize.

Unknown Number: hey cas

Castiel typed back.

Castiel: who is this?

He sat back and waited for the response. A second later there was another buzz.

Unknown Number: dean

Castiel's heart raced. Dean was texting him? He quickly saved the number to his contacts. He typed back:

Castiel: hi dean, how are you?

What Castiel really wanted to write was: hi dean, i love you and miss you and why aren't you here?

Dean: good. ok tbh no

Castiel felt concern and pecked out a reply.

Castiel: what's wrong?

Dean: drunk. feel like puking.

He's drunk texting me, Castiel thought. He shouldn't be surprised. After all, that one time they were together, they were both drunk.

Castiel: better go puke then. you'll feel better. drink lots of water afterwards.

Dean: yup gross. hate it.

Castiel: ok. well, feel better. happy halloween

Castiel grimaced. What a lame thing to type.

Dean: miss u. angle.

Castiel's heart leaped. Dean missed me? he wondered. He assumed that "angle" was supposed to be "angel". He blushed thinking of the last time that Dean had called him that. Probably the alcohol talking, he concluded sadly. He took a chance and typed back quickly.

Castiel: me too. wish you were here.

He sat starting at his phone, waiting for a response. A minute passed, then ten. He shoved his phone back in his pocket. Charlie looked over at him and noticed he was looking dejected. She came over with Maleficent in tow.

"Hey Castiel, everything ok?" Charlie asked. She was holding hands with the other girl, who smiled at Castiel.

"I'm ok, thanks." he looked at Maleficent. "hi."

"This is Laurie." Charlie beamed. "We're actually on our way out...but I just wanted to make sure you're ok."

Castiel forced a smile. "Totally fine! Go!" He made shooing motions.

"Ok Cas. Hey, what's your cell?" Charlie pulled out her phone. Castiel dictated his number and Charlie punched it in and then texted him so he'd have her number.

"I'll see you later. Namarie." Charlie winked. She looked back and gave him the thumbs up while she and Laurie made their way upstairs. Castiel returned her thumbs up and grinned. He looked back to his phone but there was nothing. Suddenly it was buzzed. He whipped it out of his pocket but it was only Sarah.

Sarah: going home soon. u?

Castiel: yes. i'll meet you at the front.

Castiel sighed and got up. He made his way upstairs and shouldered his way through the thick crowd. He took a deep breath once he was outside. The chill air felt wonderful.

Sarah and Brandon came out a moment later. They greeted Castiel and then the three of them started walking back to the dorm.


	3. Chapter 3: Winter Break

..for the life of me, I cannot believe, we'd ever die, for these sins...

The rest of the semester was a blur. Castiel hung out with Brandon and Sarah regularly, and also Charlie. Sometimes all of them would get together, but more often it was Charlie and Castiel. They would geek out constantly, rewatching old episodes of Star Trek and Stargate. Charlie loved to sing and dance too, and they were often blasting her stereo and goofing off in her room. She even organized a flash mob one day during lunch, set to "Walking on Sunshine." Sometimes Laurie was also around when Castiel and Charlie were hanging out, but he always felt like a third wheel.

Castiel hadn't told Charlie about Dean but he had been tempted to a few times. He still thought about him often but his friends distracted him enough that he felt ok most of the time. Late at night, he sometimes looked back at those old texts. That last text from Dean always made him wistful. "miss u. angle."

His heavy courseload also kept him busy, and he was often studying at the library until closing time. Then he would move on to the late night on-campus coffee shop to finish up. He was getting an average of 4 hours of sleep a night, and lived on black coffee. Before he knew it, finals were here. Castiel was exhausted after he turned in his last paper, and very much looking forward to relaxing during break.

And then he was back home and everything seemed different. He had been getting used to living in the dorm and seeing friends at all hours. The first weekend at home he slept late and spent the rest of the day reading or watching TV. It was kind of boring.

Late Sunday afternoon of that weekend, when the sky was already darkening to dusk, Castiel was reading on his bed when he saw movement through his window. Looking across the way, he saw that Dean was back from school.

Castiel's heart sped up a little. His mouth felt dry as he watched Dean moving around his room. Suddenly Dean looked up through the window. He paused, and as Castiel watched, he moved up to the window, cranking it open to the cold winter air. Dean waved one hand out and looked at Castiel through the window.

Castiel quickly got up from the bed, tossing his book aside. He opened his window and gave Dean a tentative smile.

"Hey dude. How's it going?" Dean said easily. His hair was a little longer, Castiel noticed, but otherwise he looked the same. Beautiful.

"Hi Dean. I'm good. How was your semester?"

"Pretty awesome." Dean admitted. "College chicks, man. Pretty awesome."

Castiel felt his heart drop, but kept his smile on and nodded.

"How 'bout you?" Dean asked. "Got any action going on?"

Castiel shook his head.

"Too busy studying, I bet." Dean laughed. He smiled at Castiel.

Castiel agreed. "Yup, that's me."

"You haven't changed, man. That's what I like about you." Dean said. Castiel figured it was a compliment.

"So what are you up to during break?" Dean asked.

"Not much. Just hanging out at home." Castiel admitted.

"Me neither. We have to go to my grandparents' for Christmas, but that's just a few days. Otherwise I"ll be around."

Castiel was happy that Dean would be nearby, and that they were talking again. If they were just friends, that was better than feeling like he didn't exist on Dean's planet.

"That's great." Castiel said simply.

"Well, see you around, Cas. Sammy wanted to go out for burgers, so we're leaving now."

"Have fun. I'll see you later." Castiel waved. He watched Dean pull his head back in the window and crank it shut. Dean left the room, and Castiel was still staring out the window. He shivered from the cold and shut the window.

...

Castiel saw Dean a few times before Christmas, just around town or across the way through his windows. Dean spent a lot of time with Sam, catching up with his brother after his semester away. Castiel often saw them leaving or coming back with the Impala. One time they unloaded a Christmas tree from the top of the car. It seemed so domestic, and Castiel smiled at the thought of Dean and his brother decorating it together.

Dean hadn't spoken to Castiel through the window again since the afternoon that Dean had arrived home, but Castiel felt hopeful. They were both busy with their families on Christmas. A couple of days after Christmas, Dean was back in town. When he got up to his room, he went over to his window and cranked it open.

"Cas." Dean called.

"Hey Dean." Castiel opened his window too. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Cas. Did you have a good one?"

"Yes. How was yours?"

"Great. I ate too much though." Dean patted his stomach. "I seemed to have avoided the freshman 15, but I can never resist my grandmother's pies."

Dean looked over at Castiel. He pulled a cigarette out and lit it. After a deep inhale, he blew the smoke out slowly. Even though Castiel didn't like it when people smoked, when he saw Dean purse his lips around the cigarette, it was difficult to look away.

"Are you busy on New Year's?" Dean asked casually. Castiel started, did I hear Dean correctly? Even if he did, he wanted to hear Dean say it again.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Castiel inquired innocently.

"Whatcha you up to on New Year's Eve?" Dean repeated patiently. He tapped his cigarette on the sill and took another drag.

"Um, uh, nothing. I'll be at home." Castiel responded lamely.

Dean blew out the smoke he was holding in his mouth. He held the stub between his index and middle fingers.

Looking at the cigarette instead of Castiel, Dean said, "You should come over. I have no plans- the house will be empty. Sammy's got a new girlfriend that he's going to see the fireworks with. My parents have a fancy party to go to. I'm gonna be lonely." He said the last part jokingly, but Castiel gulped.

"Sure. I'll come over on New Year's. Sounds fun." Castiel managed to reply in what he hoped was a normal tone.

"Awesome. You can even sleep over if you want." Dean winked. Castiel blushed furiously. Dean laughed and waved. He closed his window and left the room. Castiel stood there, the cold air keeping him grounded. He was feeling overheated. Images from prom night flashed through his mind, always readily accessible. He was not turning down an opportunity like that.

On the other hand, he didn't want to be used. He'd have to talk to Dean before they did anything, although that was assuming that was Dean's intent. Dean had been shamelessly flirting though, so Castiel was pretty certain he knew what would happen on New Year's. He felt a wave of desire in anticipation of the evening. It was only a few days away, but it seemed like an eternity.


	4. Chapter 4: New Years' Eve

...we were merely freshmen...

Castiel couldn't stay still during the day on December 31st. He kept checking the time, distractedly eating lunch with his parents. The hours crept by, slowly getting closer to dinnertime, which was when everyone else would be heading out. Castiel's stomach was full of butterflies. There was a "Doctor Who" marathon on TV but he could not pay attention, and kept pacing and fidgeting. His parents left for their night out, and Dean's parents as well, but Dean's brother was still next door. Castiel felt like he would burst with anticipation.

Finally he saw a car pull up next door. A pretty blonde girl with curls got out of the car. She went to ring the doorbell. Sam opened the door moments later and gave her a hug. Castiel watched as Dean emerged from the front door and watched the two get into the car. He waved and then they drove away.

Castiel ran down the stairs, quickly checking his hair in the mirror. He grabbed the bottle of champagne he had bought earlier in the day. Charlie had made him a fake ID but he never used it to buy alcohol before today. Mainly he used it to get into the 21+ punk and ska shows that Charlie took him to regularly. He locked the front door, making sure he had his key.

Castiel knocked uncertainly on Dean's door. He saw Dean peek out the front window at him. Moments later Dean opened the door.

"Hey man. You brought champagne? Sweet!" Dean grinned. "Did you steal it from your parents' stash?"

"I bought it. With a fake ID." Castiel explained, handing the bottle over.

"Fake ID, huh? My angel's growing up." Dean laughed. Castiel blushed at the nickname. Dean went inside and Castiel followed, noticing how Dean's jeans molded to his ass. The black t-shirt that Dean wore was tightly fitted too, and Castiel swallowed thickly. He was starting get aroused.

Dean put the bottle in the fridge and closed the door. He leaned his back against the fridge.

"So..." Dean looked at Castiel. "Lots of catching up to do." He smiled at Castiel, who felt his insides clench. This was what he had been dreaming of for months: the chance to be with Dean.

Castiel stood awkwardly by the kitchen island. He didn't want to talk, but he did want to know what exactly was going on so he didn't get hurt again.

"Dean..." Castiel began, but Dean was staring at him so intently with those green eyes, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. Castiel shook his head.

He tried again, "Dean, we have to talk."

"About what, angel?" He was moving towards Castiel. He put his hands on the island behind Castiel, so he was caught between Dean's outstretched arms. Castiel squirmed. They weren't quite touching but Dean was so close to him. Castiel wanted to kiss him so badly.

"I'm serious, Dean. You really hurt me when you just stopped talking to me after prom night. I thought I was more than a one-night special." Castiel's words came out in a rush before he could lose his nerve. He felt sadness and anger rising as he thought about the months he had wallowed, before school and new friends helped assuage the pain.

Dean looked away. He moved away from Castiel.

"I'm sorry." he said, without looking at Castiel. He rubbed the back of his head with agitation.

"You don't know what you did to me. I was such a mess." Castiel said quietly. He looked at Dean, who still wouldn't meet his gaze.

"I'm sorry."

"That's all you have to say? Look. That was the best night of my life. Still is. And you acted like it never happened." Castiel accused.

Dean finally looked at him.

"I know. I was a big douche. A fucking idiot. I just freaked out, ok? I was never interested in guys before you. I'm not gay. But that night was awesome for me too. Nothing since has been close to it." He looked ashamed and truly remorseful. Castiel felt like hugging him but stood his ground. His heart also felt a little burst of hope when Dean admitted the night was special to him too.

Dean continued. "I didn't know how to feel, so I just ignored you. It was really tough, but I just had no idea what to do. I was glad when my parents decided to take us on a cross-country driving trip that summer because then I wouldn't have deal with seeing you everywhere."

Castiel waited. Dean scrubbed his face with one hand and sighed.

"Look. It really messed with my head. I enjoyed it but I thought it was just a drunk crazy night. But I couldn't stop thinking about you either. I thought college would help me forget."

"Did it?" Castiel asked unsympathetically. He crossed his arms.

Dean ran his hand through his hair.

"At first, it did. Yeah, I had so many one night stands that I lost count. And those are just the ones I remember. But then I'd see some geeky looking kid that reminded me of you and I'd feel confused again. I never really got trashed when I drank in high school, but liquor is just everywhere on campus, and when I thought of you, I just drank to forget."

"Do you remember texting me on Halloween?"

"Um. The next morning when I looked at my phone and saw the text from you, I realized what I had done and I felt mortified. But it was the truth, angel." Dean looked into Castiel's eyes now.

"And now? Why am I here Dean? Are you going to use me for another one night stand?" Castiel was still crossing his arms, and he leaned against the island. He glared at Dean.

"God, you are sexy when you are mad." Dean sighed.

Castiel refused to be distracted, although he couldn't stop his face from flushing. "Answer the question, Dean."

"Cas...angel..." Dean pleaded. He really did seem sincere. Castiel wanted him to beg. Dean closed the distance between them. He tried to wrap his arms around Castiel but Castiel stiffened at his touch.

"C'mon..." Dean bent his head and buried his face in the space between Castiel's shoulder and neck. Castiel was so close to yielding. Dean weaved his fingers through Castiel's hair. Castiel closed his eyes and leaned into Dean's hand.

"Dean. I need to know." Castiel said gently. He uncrossed his arms and lifted Dean's head from his shoulder gently. They looked into each other's eyes.

"You will never be a one night stand to me." Dean breathed. Castiel reached up to run a hand through Dean's hair. He pulled Dean's face to his and kissed him softly.

"I forgive you." Castiel murmured. Dean closed his eyes with relief. He pulled Castiel close and held him, nuzzling his neck and inhaling his scent. Castiel felt his desire starting to rise again. He rubbed Dean's shoulders and back. Dean sighed contentedly. Castiel tugged on the hair on the back of Dean's head, causing Dean to hum into his neck. Castiel pulled a little harder and the used both hands to move his head up. He cupped his cheeks and kissed him softly. They gazed into each other's eyes again. The pacing was excruciating to Castiel but he didn't want to give in so easily.

Dean reached up to remove Castiel's glasses. He placed them gently on the island counter.

"Cas..." Dean said, "I forgot how blue your eyes were." He wrapped his arms around Castiel again. He tangled one hand in Castiel's hair, pulling him in for another kiss.

"You're so beautiful, Cas." Dean moved his hands along Castiel's sides, making him shiver. He slipped them under the edge of Castiel's t-shirt, and his hands touched Castiel's stomach. Castiel sighed at the touch.

"I've missed you Dean. Too much."

"Me too, Cas." Dean moved his hands higher and settled them on Castiel's chest. He gently pinched Castiel's nipples, making Castiel gasp. Dean went in for another gentle kiss, while his hands roamed downward. He rubbed one hand on Castiel's growing erection, making him groan.

"Mmmm." Dean said. "Nobody's home so make all the noise you want." Dean's grin was wicked and Castiel felt his knees weakening and his cock growing stiffer. He reached behind himself and gripped the edge of the island counter. Dean unbuttoned Castiel's jeans and pulled the zipper down. He pulled Castiel's cock out through the flap of his briefs. Then he stood back to admire the view.

"Fuck. I wish I could take a picture. You look so fucking good." Dean raked his gaze over Castiel. He then came back up to Castiel and palmed his cock roughly. He gripped it and stroked a couple times. Castiel moaned loudly.

"I love hearing you, angel." Dean said approvingly. He rubbed Castiel's back. He leaned his forehead on Castiel's while continuing to play with his aching member.

"I'm gonna make you scream tonight." Dean promised. He gave Castiel another wicked smile and squeezed his cock hard. Castiel whimpered. He would let Dean do anything to him tonight.

"Please...Dean..." Castiel was almost begging. Dean reached around put both hands on Castiel's ass.

"Cas..." He sighed. He moved his hands and started pulling Castiel's shirt off. It got caught on the top of Castiel's head, covering his eyes. Leaving the shirt in place, Dean lunged and kissed Castiel hard. Castiel groaned, feeling Dean nip at his mouth, his teeth scraping against his own. Castiel opened up to Dean. Dean ravaged his mouth, thrusting his tongue hard against Castiel's.

Dean stopped to take a breath and whip Castiel's shirt off his head. He stared deep into Castiel's eyes, his pupils dilated with desire. He stroked Castiel's cheek, his hand rasping on a spot that Castiel had missed while shaving. They were both breathing hard. Without breaking his gaze, Dean moved his hands down to Castiel's jeans. He reached inside Castiel's briefs and removed his cock from the front flap he had pulled it through. Then he pulled the underwear and jeans down to Castiel's feet. He took a step back again, surveying Castiel's naked body leaning against the island counter.

"God, I really have to take a picture. So I can look at you anytime, all naked and wrecked. I want a picture so I can jerk off to it when you're not here with me." Dean was trying to fumble for his cell phone.

Castiel felt so wanton. He knew it probably wasn't the best idea but he didn't care. He let Dean take the picture.

"You're such a slut." Dean panted. "And you're all mine, angel." Dean tossed the phone aside and pounced on Castiel.

Castiel closed his eyes with pleasure. Dean was sucking on his neck; there would probably be a bruise tomorrow. Castiel was beyond caring. He needed Dean to touch his cock. He ground his hips against Dean's jeans. Dean took a step back, teasing him.

"Dean..." Castiel pleaded. He reached down to tug on his own cock but Dean stopped him. He grabbed Castiel's wrists.

"You'll come when I want you to, angel." He growled into Castiel's ear. "Do I need to tie you up?"

Castiel shuddered with desire and shook his head.

"Good." Dean grunted. He went back to nuzzling and sucking on Castiel's neck. Castiel moaned without restraint. Dean finally closed his fingers around Castiel and started to stroke him gently, wetting his thumb with the precum that was leaked out of Castiel's slit.

"Mmmm..." Dean purred. "You feel so fucking good, angel." He continued to stroke softly.

Castiel was close to being lost. He had craved Dean's touch for so long. Dean moved down to Castiel's chest and licked one erect nipple. Then he bit down lightly. Castiel sobbed. Dean swirled his tongue around the nipple and then pinched the other one with his free hand. He continued to gently handle Castiel.

Castiel felt frustrated by the soft touch and tried to thrust into Dean's grip. Dean pulled off of his nipple and looked at Castiel, shaking his head. Castiel whined with need.

"Be good. Patience, angel." Dean mouth went to Castiel's other nipple. Castiel closed his eyes and ran his hands through Dean's hair.

Dean started to move down past Castiel's chest, covering his stomach with kisses. He was following the trail of hair along at what he knew was a torturous pace for Castiel. Castiel tried to push Dean's head down. Dean pulled back up and kissed him hard.

"I told you to be patient!" He said roughly, nipping Castiel's ear. He grabbed Castiel's wrists again and made Castiel put his hands behind himself. Castiel put his palms down on the cool granite counter. He wasn't sure he could stand Dean's teasing anymore.

"I'm trying, Dean..." Castiel whimpered.

Dean's eyes flashed with lust. "I love seeing you like this, Cas..." Dean resumed his path down Castiel's body, and Castiel sighed with relief.

Dean was kneeling between Castiel's legs now and had finally reached his cock. Without warning, he took Castiel into his mouth. He carefully moved down the length so Castiel was fully in. Castiel was ready to cry; he wanted to thrust into Dean's wet, hot mouth. He stopped himself though, not wanting to hurt Dean. Clearly Dean had no gag reflex. Dean slid his lips up and down the shaft, and cupped Castiel's balls with one hand. Castiel squirmed a little, feeling ticklish, but soon he was overtaken by the sensation of Dean enveloping him.

Dean used his other hand to squeeze the base of Castiel's cock so he wouldn't come right away. Castiel pushed into Dean's throat. Dean let him thrust, taking his cock willingly. Castiel grabbed the back of Dean's head and pushed it down.

"Dean! Oh my fucking God! Please." Dean knew Castiel rarely swore. He smiled around Castiel's girth and released the hand that was holding the base. Castiel pushed in a couple more strokes and then he was climaxing. He screamed loudly, roughly handling Dean's head and bucking into his mouth, cum hitting the back of Dean's throat. Dean swallowed and looked up at Castiel, his expression smug. He licked his lips, which had been reddened and swollen by Castiel. Castiel slid down the side of the kitchen island, knocking his head back against the wood.

"Fuck." Castiel sobbed, scrubbing his face with his hand.

Dean grinned broadly, "Told you I would make you scream." He winked at Castiel.

Castiel caught his breath. He realized he was still wearing his sneakers. He quickly untied them and took them off, and then kicked off his jeans and briefs. Dean was still fully clothed but Castiel could see the outline of his erection in his tight jeans. Castiel wrapped himself around Dean and kissed him gently. Dean tasted of Castiel. Dean closed his eyes as Castiel softly brushed his face against Dean's cheeks.

Castiel whispered in Dean's ear. "I want you inside me." Dean opened his eyes and felt a surge of lust pass through his body.

"Uh..um, seriously, Cas?" Dean asked huskily.

Castiel nodded. He looked at Dean guilelessly.

"Holy fuck." Dean groaned. He grabbed Castiel bodily and cradled him in his arms. "I'm taking you upstairs."

Dean lifted Castiel easily. Castiel automatically put his arms around Dean's neck. He felt nervous but he wanted to do this. He wanted Dean.

They reached Dean's room, which was half closed. Dean kicked it the rest of the way open and placed Castiel on the bed.

"You really sure?" Dean asked again. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I trust you, Dean." Castiel answered. He lay back on the bed. Dean scrambled to get the lube. Castiel looked so vulnerable to him, lying there naked and waiting. Dean couldn't believe this was happening. He slowly removed his jeans and t-shirt, looking at Castiel the whole time. Castiel gasped when Dean removed his boxers, his erection springing free.

"I don't deserve you." Dean murmured, stroking his own cock while admiring Castiel. He climbed up on the bed next to Castiel. Gently, he eased Castiel's legs open. He grabbed a pillow and settled it under Castiel's hips. He stroked the insides of Castiel's thighs with the backs of his hands, then rubbed them with his palms soothingly.

"I'm going to take it slow, Cas. I want you to be completely ready when I finally fuck you." Dean said dazedly, his eyes half lidded. Castiel groaned and closed his eyes.

"Relax, baby." Dean ghosted his hand over Castiel's member, causing it to stir again. Dean maneuvered Castiel up higher on the bed, then knelt on the bed between his legs. Castiel felt Dean positioning himself, and he tensed up waiting to see what Dean would do next. His eyes were still closed when Dean kissed his cock and then nuzzled his balls. Dean continued downward and then spread Castiel's ass cheeks. He blew lightly on Castiel's opening, causing him to gasp. Then he plunged his tongue into Castiel, who shouted with surprise and pleasure.

"Dean!" Castiel exclaimed. He was feeling crazy. He fisted his hands into the sheets while Dean continued licking and thrusting his tongue inside. Castiel opened his eyes and looked at Dean down between his legs. He had never seen anything more amazing and beautiful.

When Castiel's hole was wet and slick with his saliva, Dean pulled away and gently probed with one finger. Castiel blew out a breath, while Dean slowly worked him open. Dean added lube to his fingers and then started going with two fingers. Castiel breathed through the sensation, it was pleasurable but also painful.

"Goddamn. You are so fucking tight." Dean grunted, while slicking his fingers in and out. He scissored them gently to get Castiel wider. Another finger went in and Castiel moaned. Dean continued his motions at a slow pace. Then he had all 4 fingers inside Castiel. Castiel was fully hard again. He wanted friction on his cock but he focused on the feel of Dean's fingers, thick and insistent against his walls. Dean pushed up gently and Castiel felt a jolt of pleasure.

"You alright, angel?" Dean asked tenderly. He looked up at Castiel, who was completely wrecked at this point. "Is it ok if we keep going?"

Castiel could barely speak. "D-Dean. Yes..."

Dean's fingers sped up and Castiel grunted against the burning pressure. Dean removed his hand and then kissed Castiel softly.

"I think you're ready." Dean smiled. Castiel nodded his consent.

Dean got back up and added more lube to Castiel's hole and then generously slicked his cock with another palmful. He positioned himself at Castiel's opening. Castiel kept his eyes on Dean's as he pressed against him. Dean was trying to be as gentle and slow as possible, but it was difficult to hold back. His cock was pulsing with desire. He pushed in, and looked a question at Castiel.

Castiel nodded again. "Please Dean. I'm ready." Dean continued to push, letting Castiel get used to his length and girth. The head slipped in and Castiel moaned. Dean kept going, the rest of his cock going in more easily after the head.

"Holy holy. You are so hot and tight and perfect." Dean rambled. He reached up to caress Castiel's face. "My perfect angel."

Dean started to slide in and out now, and Castiel gripped the sheets tighter. He increased the pace and Castiel enjoyed the pressure and the burn. Dean looked Castiel in the eyes, but then shut them.

"God, your eyes. Fuck, they make me want to come every time." Dean managed.

"Please, Dean." Castiel moaned.

"Please what?" Dean grunted.

"Come inside me." Castiel commanded, his eyes blazing into Dean's.

Dean obeyed readily. "Fuck! I'm coming!" He shouted. He made incoherent noises as he pumped into Castiel. He angled his cock so it pushed up against Castiel's sensitive spot. Dean thrust hard and filled Castiel with his cum. He kept moving as he finished his orgasm, pressing insistently inside Castiel, and then Castiel was spurting hot, thick cum on his own stomach.

"Dean! Oh my God!" Castiel cried, screaming with pleasure.

Dean collapsed against Castiel, putting his arms around him and his head on Castiel's chest. He could hear Castiel's heartbeat racing, and then slowly coming down to a normal rate.

When they had both caught their breath, Dean stretched up to kiss Castiel lovingly.

"You felt heavenly." He sighed.

"Dean..." Castiel answered. I love you, he thought.

He glanced at the clock. 12:12AM. Remembering the date, he said, "Happy new years, Dean."

Dean laughed. "Guess I got my kiss and then some, this year. Happy new years, Cas." After resting a few more moments, Dean got up and went to get a towel, and cleaned up the mess. He lay back down next to Castiel.

"My angel." He said drowsily. They lay nose to nose, gazing at each other. Dean yawned. His eyes were slipping closed. Castiel heard his breathing deepen. Castiel wondered if he should leave before the morning. He was asleep before he could decide.


	5. Chapter 5: New Years' Day

...I won't be held responsible...  
>...he fell in love in the first place...<p>

Castiel started awake on new years day. Dean's arm was slung possessively over his chest, but he was still asleep. Castiel looked at Dean while he slept, noting the long lashes sitting on his freckled cheeks. Dean looked so sweet when he was asleep, but Castiel wanted to kiss him awake. He looked at the bedside clock. 6:06AM. I should let him sleep longer, he thought. Castiel drifted off again.

When he woke next, Dean was up and staring at him. He was on his side and propping himself up with his elbow.

"Morning, Cas." Dean smiled. Castiel felt relief that Dean was still here. He was still worried that Dean would act like nothing had happened again.

"Hi Dean," Castiel gave him a lazy smile.

"So, uh, everyone is awake now." Dean mentioned. Castiel could smell coffee, pancakes and bacon. "We usually have a huge family breakfast every New Years'. Winchester tradition. You're welcome to join us of course."

"We didn't even have our champagne," Castiel mused.

"Mimosas!" Dean clapped his hands.

Castiel sat up in bed. He heard steps and murmuring downstairs and the clang of silverware against plates. Dean hopped out, his gloriously naked body making Castiel's cock perk up. Then he slid into his boxers, and Castiel was dissapointed. Castiel looked around for his glasses.

"Um...Dean." Castiel said. "My glasses?"

"Oh shit. We left them downstairs." Dean swore.

"My shirt and pants are down there too," Castiel realized. "Um. My underwear too."

"Oh crap." Dean said. "We'll have to come up with a good explanation."

A knock sounded at the door startling them both.

"Dean. It's me." Sam was on the other side.

Dean quickly unlocked the door and let him in. Castiel was under the sheets, covering himself awkwardly. Sam stood in the doorway, appearing as a tall blur to Castiel without his glasses. Sam took a double take when in saw Castiel sitting up in Dean's bed with a sheet held to his chest but otherwise apparently naked. Castiel blushed furiously. Sam averted his gaze, but not before Castiel noted the smile on his face.

"Um. Are these yours?" Sam had his face turned away while he offered Castiel the bundle in his arms.

Castiel gratefully accepted the pile of clothes with his glasses carefully folded on top.

He put his glasses on and blushed again. "Oh, thanks."

Sam looked at him with amusement, and raised his eyebrows at Dean.

"Have fun last night, Dean?" Sam asked. He tucked a strand of his long hair behind one ear, looking innocent.

"Shut up, Sammy." Dean muttered. He flushed red.

"Hey, I got up early and saw that stuff down there. Figure you didn't want mom and dad to find it." Sam smiled. "You also left this."

Sam held out Dean's phone. Dean snatched it back.

"You really shouldn't leave those things lying around." Sam added.

Dean turned red when he thought of the picture he had taken of a Castiel. He thanked God that his phone was in auto lock mode with a password.

"Thanks, Sammy. Now get out of here." He pushed his brother out of the room and closed the door.

"He is a good kid." Castiel observed. "Great kid, actually. Saved us from having to come up with awkward excuses."

Dean nodded. "I told you he was smart. He is going to hold this over my head forever though." Dean groaned at the ammunition that Sam now had for calling in favors.

"Pretty cute, too." Castiel teased.

"Hey!" Dean exclaimed. "Hands off my little brother."

Then he pushed Castiel up against the wall and growled possessively.  
>"Anyways, you're all mine."<p>

Castiel felt his desire rising, but Dean moved away.

"Well, gotta get downstairs before my parents come looking for us." Dean said resignedly.

They took turns using the bathroom, checking that they looked presentable, although Castiel was looking pretty rumpled. That could be explained by having slept in his clothes at least.

Castiel and Dean went down the stairs with a little space between them.

"Happy new year, Dean! Hello Castiel! Happy new year to you too!" Dean's mom gushed.

"Hey mom," Dean said, "Happy new year." He kissed his mom on the cheek.

Dean's dad looked up at them. "Happy new year." he commented, and then went back to his paper.

Sam chimed in, "Happy new year!" He gave them a smirk. Dean glared at Sam, who rolled his eyes and went back to shoveling eggs into his mouth.

"Happy new year, everyone." Castiel said. "Thanks for making breakfast, Mrs. Winchester."

"No problem, Castiel." Dean's mom answered. "Please, sit. We always have too much food, so it's great to have company."

They ate together at the table. It was a bit awkward, with Sam constantly shooting Dean glances, while Dean's mom asked Castiel about school. Dean's dad was mostly silent, and Castiel felt like he disapproved of him somehow.

After breakfast, Dean and Castiel excused themselves and mentioned going into town to get a few things before school started. Sam was headed to the movies with Jessica.

When Castiel and Dean were outside the house, Castiel turned to Dean.

"What's up with your dad?" Castiel asked. "I felt like he didn't like me."

"It's not you, Castiel." Dean answered. "He's just pissed off all the time. I don't think he likes me much either. Sammy can do no wrong though."

"Why?"

"I don't know exactly. I think he just wants me to be more motivated about school. He's not excited about football like most dads are."

"Man. My dad is always trying to get me more interested in sports. We should switch." Castiel laughed.

Dean shrugged. "Oh well. Anyways, I actually do need some stuff for school. Want to come with?"

Dean and Castiel got into the Impala and drove to the town center. Dean grabbed more socks and underwear, and also a bunch of junk food. Castiel bought a few pens and a notebook.

They stopped for coffee after shopping. Dean ordered a regular coffee with extra cream and sugar while Castiel got a double espresso, black. They sat down at a table and sipped their drinks. Castiel took a deep breath. He really needed to be clear on the relationship and now was a good a time as any to talk.

"Dean, I had an incredible time last night. But what's going on with us?" Castiel began.

"Cas. I'm not going to hurt you anymore. I told you last night, I don't want to hurt you." Dean said.

"Oh, I thought you were referring to-" Cas started, but Dean cut him off.

"Yes, but also I meant, emotionally." Dean turned the cup in his hands. "I want to treat you right."

Castiel felt happiness bubble up inside him. "Really, Dean?" He wanted to believe him, but he was wary.

Dean looked around the cafe, and then took Castiel's hand. "Really, Cas."

"I hope you mean it. I can't deal with what you did to me last time again."

"I'm serious. Cas, you mean a lot to me." Dean looked sincerely into Castiel's eyes.

"Ok." Castiel conceded. "But make sure you text me regularly. And no more skanky college chicks. You're all mine."

Dean laughed. "Ok, angel. It's a deal."

...

A few days later, they were both back at school. Castiel heard from Dean every day. They texted each other at night too, sometimes venturing into sexting. Dean had that picture of Castiel too, of course. He sent a naked one to Castiel too, so things were even.

Charlie was excited to see Castiel when he got back from break. She gave him a huge hug.

"Where have you been?" Charlie asked. "We barely said 'Merry Christmas' and 'Happy New Years' to each other during break. What kept you so busy?"

Castiel blushed. Charlie laughed and bumped Castiel's shoulder.  
>"Spill it."<p>

Castiel smiled. "It's a long story..."


End file.
